I’ve never been on a Yoga Retreat before, it’s on the bucket list. I got to participate in a Weekend Immersion with Kerry Armstrong at Firefly Yoga (my yoga home). It’s like a retreat except I get to sleep in my own bed at the end of the day and eat my own meals. I see ads for amazing yoga retreats in these exotic places and it sounds awesome but my bank account says “Pfff, yeah right!” so it was nice to take advantage of this opportunity so close to home with people I know, except for Kerry who I met for the first time doing this immersion.Read More
Last month I started Yoga Teacher Training and so far it has been way more fulfilling than I thought it would be. I'm with an amazing group of women and we all just meshed right away. Maybe it's a reflection of the yoga studio and the community it has developed which has been very welcoming and accepting and it just spills into the teaching program? Maybe it has to with learning more about Baptiste Yoga, which is more than just a sequence of asana (yoga poses) but also meditation and self-inquiry.
"Self-Inquiry" is probably the most difficult of the three to work on because who really wants to look at themselves and go deep into their fears and what's holding them back? C'MON LET'S DO SOME YOGA!!! But doing this is helping all of us connect in a way that is more than just someone I take yoga classes with, and it's awesome. It's hard, but awesome.
It is all starting to make sense. I've already broken down and shared more about myself than I'm comfortable with but sometimes you need to tear down the old in order to build up stronger, better, and new. I'm not finished, I'm sure there's more that's gonna come out, more tears, more tissues, but I feel like I am at a very critical point that will determine how I will choose to live the rest of my life. It's a serious head and heart examination that years of therapy probably couldn't tap into.
Some people practice yoga strictly for the exercise. They have no interest in meditation, sanskrit, bandhas, 8 Limbs of Yoga, anything that has to do with mindfulness, spiritually, and looking within. And that's okay! If there's one thing I don't like is forcing something on someone who is not interested or ready to be receptive to it. There were a lot of things I didn't want to look at for years but the time wasn't right until now.
On the flip side, when people come to yoga for more than just to stretch - like seeking peace, stress relief, an "escape" from the bullshit they're dealing with - that's heavy! And as a teacher, you are a part of helping them find whatever it is that they are looking for. I don't want to take that lightly. Teaching yoga is more than just walking around, calling out yoga poses and making adjustments here and there. You are empowering, uplifting, inspiring, and encouraging others which is pretty much why I want to teach yoga. I'm not sure if I can do this any other way but through yoga.
Forty+ days later! I wanted to write a recap of the 40 Day Challenge in my last blog post. I finished last week, I did it! I didn't drop out! By about Day 20 I was considering it but I knew if I did, I would be really disappointed in myself, and I'm tired of being disappointed with myself.
In addition to the insane amount of yoga I was able to fit in, I found myself feeling stronger, more confident, more self-aware and acknowledge the parts of me that needs improvement - not physically but junk that is taking up space in my brain. The self-inquiry was the hardest part of this challenge, I really don't want to self-evaluate that much, I mean who does?? But it's necessary to do once in a while.
One of the things I learned is that I cling to things too much, especially things that are no longer in my control. I don't need to think about people from my past who I wish could see how much better off I am without them, who cares? And I don't need to plan every detail of my life. It's okay to just be present, which meditation has helped greatly.
I mentioned the Insight Timer app and oh my God, it has been life-changing! I went from a person who struggled to meditate on their own for five minutes, to meditating twice a day in the morning and at night. So many bookmarks and teachers I follow now! I continue to struggle staying asleep, some nights are easier than others. The nightly meditations help. I really don't want to take Tylenol PM anymore, although that didn't always work either.
Then there's also the community, I love my yoga studio! I mean I loved it before but I have made more friends and connected with more of my fellow yogis, it's pretty special. It's nice to go somewhere and be a part of a group that is so open, supportive and welcoming. I look forward to doing more workshops and classes there. Plus there's a group of us that's been taking Spin/Boxing classes in Beacon which I'm pretty obsessed with.
That's actual footage of me! It's great to get my sweat on and move. I've grown to like the cycling and my cardio is getting better. With Boxing, I still gotta work on my form but boy do I feel it in my arms and shoulders. Plus my coach is A-W-E-S-O-M-E! If you're reading this Eva, YOU INSPIRE ME!!
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